I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
