my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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