Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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