so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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