Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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