Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
