You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
