Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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