I just cut my nipple shaving
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
