I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
