this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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