Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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