Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
