I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
