I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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