I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
