Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize