D3 body, D1 cock
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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