I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
