It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
being pregnant is like rehab
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
