So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
