I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i barfeds in our rink
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
