Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize