i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize