Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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