Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
