I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
