i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
