I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
