Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
