Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
