His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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