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he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
