So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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