Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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