Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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