I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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