Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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