so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
