She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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