Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
organizing the empties. That sober.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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