When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
