I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
