it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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