Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
