in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
lets start a swedish sibling band together
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
