You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
