theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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