in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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