I think I am morally bankrupt
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
