I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
