I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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