@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
