The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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