i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
