I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
