Can Purell be used as lube?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize