make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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