This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
