Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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