The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
