I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
