Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize