Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
