I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
