I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
