make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
