I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
