she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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